Many of us have had that problem, where you've asked, “Siri, where's the nearest post office?,” and she's told you when Beethoven's 5th Symphony was written. Then...there’s Alexa, who may be slightly more accurate but requires a different style command. Both have proven to provide quite the entertainment in my home lately.
My parents are staying with me for a bit and my dad loves the sound of rain. I taught him how to ask Alexa to play a thunderstorm. One day I’m working in my home office and all of sudden there is this blaring tropical storm at top volume. I open my office door to find it 10 times even louder downstairs. I begin asking him “daddy, can you turn it down? can you turn the volume lower?” It's crashing thunder and lightning as he's giving me the thumbs up and saying how much he loves it. He keeps motioning that he can’t hear me because it’s playing too loudly. He finally motions that he will turn it down so I go back in my office. He then starts shouting out various women’s names, “Erica…Allison…volume down…Allegra? Aubrey off…, turn off, Veronica?” He could not remember the name Alexa to get it to turn off! I simply opened my door and shouted, “Alexa stop” and silence fell harshly. I simply hear, “thank you. She wouldn’t listen to me.”
I had to explain to him that those things are programmed to respond to a certain command, said a certain way. I began to think that people aren't really that different. We're all designed a specific way by our DNA, to handle and hear things differently. If we all heard things the same and liked the same things life would be extremely boring.
Wouldn't be far more effective if we spent even just a few minutes to notice how the other person listens? Think about how they should be approached? Carried ourselves in a way that shows that what we have to offer should be valued?
After ten years in a marriage that lacked productive communication, I made the very difficult decision to leave. I made a promise to myself that I would teach my kids how to communicate. I made it my priority. Now, 10 years later, I am confident that both my son and my daughter have the tools they need to express themselves and be heard. After years of teaching, tutoring and being a nanny, I have seen hundreds of families learn a simpler, better way of having more productive, genuine conversations.
Families call on me when their 4 year old isn't following directions and when their 17 year old won't even talk to them anymore.
Couples call me when they can't seem to have a discussion without it turning into an argument or worse, silence.
Individuals call me when they want to succeed at work and aren't feeling valued or have lost confidence.
This is truly what I love doing. People will always struggle to connect and move forward, if they don't have good communication skills.
Are you having problems with your kids just not listening?
Are they tuning you out when you want to have a conversation with them?
Is it difficult to get your spouse to hear what you're needing to talk about?
Are you often hesitant to bring up difficult topics?
Does it seem like your ideas, opinions, and requests are being dismissed at work?
Are you often "seen and not heard" or feel undervalued?
If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, then THIS is the program that will help you speak how they hear! It will help reduce the frustration and drama you are experiencing every day, and will help build your confidence to really be heard.